Vol. 1, No. 4
Friday, October 2, 2026
Week 3 Recap
Trogdor Won With Two Empty Slots
Seven starters, 66.44 points, a 4.70 point win. Every healthy backup quarterback outscored his starter, and the Gazette's lineup advice went 0 for 3.
By Chet Grindstone, Senior Draft Correspondent, The Thunderdome Gazette
On Sunday, Trogdor the Burninator took the field with nobody at flex and nobody at defense. Kyren Williams scored 15.8 on the bench. The Denver defense scored 14.0 on the bench. Matthew Stafford, the healthy quarterback, scored 20.9 on the bench while Bryce Young started and scored 13.6. Trogdor finished with 66.44 points from seven players, and won, because the NW HJ Monsters scored 61.74, the lowest total of the week.
That was not the only strange result. The Mint started two tight ends and posted 141.64, the high score of the week. The Cobras started their best possible lineup for a second straight week and won by 55.16, the largest margin of the week, to reach 3-0. Ed's Broken Tractor beat the Decepticons by 0.86 while leaving 31.56 points on its bench. Punt Intended beat Daraiders by 4.70, the same margin by which Trogdor beat the Monsters. Five teams are now 2-1. And the backup quarterback caucus, introduced in this space last week, improved its record: four teams rostered a healthy backup, and all four started the wrong quarterback.
The paper's own record also needs reporting. Last week the Gazette told Punt Intended to start TreVeyon Henderson, told ChalupaBatman to start Jaylen Waddle, and told Trogdor to use Jalen Coker. Henderson scored 2.9, Waddle scored 4.4, and Coker scored 1.8 on a bench where Trogdor was right to leave him. Zero for three. The advice department remains on the bench. The backup department, at least, is producing.
The Scoreboard / Week 3
| Winner | Pts | Loser | Pts | Margin |
|---|
| Cobras | 121.92 | ChalupaBatman | 66.76 | 55.16 |
| The Snoqualmie Mint | 141.64 | tjflaig | 91.34 | 50.30 |
| Punt Intended | 107.36 | Daraiders | 102.66 | 4.70 |
| Trogdor the Burninator | 66.44 | NW HJ Monsters | 61.74 | 4.70 |
| Ed's Broken Tractor | 89.34 | Decepticons | 88.48 | 0.86 |
The Grades / Week 3
In standings order. Grades measure decisions: lineup calls and roster moves. Injuries during a game are not decisions and are not graded.
Cobras
jonnie555, 3-0, 121.92 points
A
Bijan Robinson scored 33.3, Kenneth Walker 19.3, Tee Higgins 15.0, Tyler Loop 12.0, and the Cobras beat ChalupaBatman by 55.16. For the second straight week, no bench player would have improved a single slot. The one cold spot was the New England defense, which scored negative 1.0 and was replaced on Thursday by Las Vegas. The week's roster work also included Tyler Shough for Adonai Mitchell, who arrived last Thursday, scored 0.0, and left six days later, and Tyreek Hill for Jayden Reed, now on injured reserve. Three games, 391.00 points, 28.18 more than anyone else. The Gazette has run out of ways to find fault and is now checking the team's paperwork.
Best start: Bijan Robinson, 33.3. The second best individual score of the week.
Worst decision: None. The best possible lineup and the actual lineup were the same lineup.
Record: 3-0. 391.00 points for. Power rank 1, unchanged. The only undefeated team left.
The Snoqualmie Mint
CalViv6, 2-1, 141.64 points
A
The high score of the week, built on a premise this paper has mocked twice: two tight ends in one lineup. Brock Bowers, back from his trimmed meniscus, scored 17.6 at tight end. George Kittle scored 20.2 in the flex. Brock Purdy scored 31.3 and now has 80.9 points in three weeks from the 117th pick. Jaxon Smith-Njigba added 25.4. The lineup was optimal to the tenth of a point. One detail the Decepticons will not enjoy: the Mint started Tony Pollard, released by the Decepticons in Week 2, and on Friday added Woody Marks, also released by the Decepticons. The Mint also cut Alvin Kamara on Sunday, re-signed him Wednesday, and swapped Fairbairn for Spencer Shrader.
Best start: Brock Purdy, 31.3. Round 12. The best quarterback score in the league this week.
Worst decision: None. Two tight ends, both correct. The Gazette withdraws the plumbing joke for this franchise only.
Record: 2-1. 362.82 points for, second in the league. Power rank 2, up two.
Punt Intended
stevets, 2-1, 107.36 points
B-
A 4.70 point win over Daraiders, carried by Derrick Henry at 20.9 and Drake London at 19.4. The Gazette told Punt Intended to start TreVeyon Henderson. They did, and he scored 2.9. Jakobi Meyers scored 12.4 on the bench, and on Wednesday Punt Intended released Meyers to claim Brenton Strange, whom this paper formally retired last week. Strange is back. The Gazette regrets the obituary. Meanwhile Jordan Love scored 18.5 on the bench, which is 2.0 more than Josh Allen scored as the starter. Starting Allen was correct. It will not stop happening to this roster.
Best start: Derrick Henry, 20.9. Tied for the sixth best score of the week.
Worst decision: TreVeyon Henderson, 2.9. Meyers had 12.4 on the bench. Made on the Gazette's advice. Partial custody, again.
Record: 2-1. 347.34 points for, third. Power rank 3, unchanged.
Daraiders
darock77, 2-1, 102.66 points
C
The first loss, and the most on-brand one available. After benching Jared Goff for Trevor Lawrence's 6.2 in Week 2, Daraiders corrected course and started Goff. Goff scored 19.4. Lawrence scored 19.8 on the bench. The quarterback decision has now been wrong two weeks running, this time by 0.4. The bigger problem was at running back: David Montgomery scored 4.8 and Omarion Hampton 5.6 as starters while Matthew Golden scored 16.0 on the bench and Rachaad White added 10.1. That is 16.14 points left unused in a 4.70 point loss. Brandon Aubrey scored 10.0 and could not do it alone this time.
Best start: Jared Goff, 19.4. The best starter in the lineup, and still 0.4 short of the bench.
Worst decision: David Montgomery, 4.8. Golden had 16.0 on the bench. In a 4.70 point game, that is the game.
Record: 2-1. Margins this season: plus 0.24, plus 6.20, minus 4.70. Power rank 4, up one.
NW HJ Monsters
rsh3ll, 2-1, 61.74 points
C+
The lowest score of the week, and a loss to a team that started seven players. Patrick Mahomes finally started, with Jayden Daniels out with his elbow, and scored 15.9. Then the rest of the roster stopped. Jonathan Taylor scored 7.2. Amon-Ra St. Brown scored 7.9. The San Francisco defense scored 1.0. Breece Hall left with a quadriceps injury after 5.5, and Terry McLaurin scored 13.7 on the bench, which is the one swap that would have won the game. The best possible lineup was 69.90. The Monsters lost by 4.70 to a lineup missing two players. Friday brought Green Bay's defense, Josh Downs, and Will Reichard. The mitten, Emmett Johnson, scored 1.7.
Best start: Patrick Mahomes, 15.9. Two weeks of waiting for this, and it was the high point.
Worst decision: Breece Hall over Terry McLaurin, 5.5 to 13.7. Hall's exit was not a decision. McLaurin's 13.7 on the bench was.
Record: 2-1. 294.84 points for. Power rank 5, down three. The steepest fall of the week.
Ed's Broken Tractor
OldFordTractor, 2-1, 89.34 points
C-
The Tractor won by 0.86 and left 31.56 points on the bench, and the Gazette now has three weeks of data on its tight end decision. Week 1: started Harold Fannin, 2.1, benched Isaiah Likely, 19.8. Week 2: started Likely, 3.3, benched Fannin, 5.4. Week 3: started Likely, 1.3, benched Fannin, 17.1. The starting tight end has 6.7 points this season. The benched one has 42.3. Jahmyr Gibbs scored 34.4, the best individual total of the week, and Lamar Jackson added 20.4. Michael Wilson scored 14.9 on the bench while Justin Jefferson scored 3.2 and is now listed out with an ankle injury. Brian Robinson scored 11.0 in reserve. The Chicago defense arrived Thursday and Jaxson Dart, now on injured reserve, departed.
Best start: Jahmyr Gibbs, 34.4. The 1.01 pick, posting the best score of the week.
Worst decision: Isaiah Likely over Harold Fannin, 1.3 to 17.1. Three for three, all wrong. Flip a coin next week. It cannot do worse.
Record: 2-1. 274.50 points for. Power rank 6, up one. Holding the sixth seed with the seventh highest points total.
Decepticons
Megatron1414, 1-2, 88.48 points
C
Lost by 0.86. On Sunday morning the Decepticons claimed Terrance Ferguson and started him at tight end over Colston Loveland. Ferguson scored 0.9 and left with an ankle injury. Loveland scored 3.1 on the bench. The difference, 2.2, would have won the game. The other leak was older: MarShawn Lloyd played Thursday night and scored 1.8 in the flex, locking the slot before Deebo Samuel scored 15.4 on the bench Sunday. Joe Burrow scored 22.6 and Jeremiyah Love had his best game of the season at 16.9. DeVonta Smith scored 6.5 and is now out with a hamstring. Wednesday brought Kenyon Sadiq, Braelon Allen, Ollie Gordon, and the Buffalo defense. Ferguson was released three days after he was claimed. Kyle Pitts left the same morning.
Best start: Joe Burrow, 22.6. The fifth best score of the week, on a back that was questionable two Sundays ago.
Worst decision: Terrance Ferguson over Colston Loveland, 0.9 to 3.1. A same-day pickup started over a drafted tight end, in a game lost by 0.86.
Record: 1-2. 249.32 points for. Power rank 8, up one. Four tight ends rostered in two weeks. Two of them remain.
Trogdor the Burninator
jacobposey40, 1-2, 66.44 points
D+
The flex slot was empty. The defense slot was empty. Kyren Williams scored 15.8 and the Denver defense scored 14.0, both on the bench, which is 29.8 points the lineup did not have to find. Matthew Stafford scored 20.9 in reserve while Bryce Young scored 13.6. The best possible lineup was 108.30, which would have been the third highest score of the week. The actual lineup scored 66.44 with seven players and won by 4.70, because the opponent scored 61.74. Credit where earned: Jaylen Warren scored 17.6 and Juwan Johnson 15.3. And the Gazette told Trogdor to use Coker, who scored 1.8. Trogdor did not use Coker. Trogdor was right. That is the only thing the paper is prepared to concede.
Best start: Jaylen Warren, 17.6. One of seven, which is a better ratio than usual.
Worst decision: Two empty starting slots. 29.8 points sat behind them. No lineup error in league history is larger, and the league is three weeks old.
Record: 1-2. 241.72 points for. Power rank 9, down one. Won a game the way most teams lose one.
tjflaig
tjflaig, 0-3, 91.34 points
B-
A lineup that left only 2.96 points on the bench lost by 50.30, because it drew the Mint's 141.64. James Cook scored 19.4, Dak Prescott 18.9, Chuba Hubbard 11.0. The fault line is at kicker. Since Week 2 began, tjflaig has rostered Cameron Dicker, Chase McLaughlin, Harrison Butker, and now Evan McPherson. McLaughlin was claimed and released inside two days without playing a down for this team, then was picked up by ChalupaBatman and scored 12.0. Butker scored 5.0 for tjflaig. The kicker carousel cost 7.0 points in a game lost by 50.30, so it did not cost the game. It did cost the week's dignity. Josh Jacobs scored 0.0. The pick remains.
Best start: James Cook, 19.4. The steadiest player on the roster for three weeks.
Worst decision: Releasing Chase McLaughlin for Harrison Butker, 12.0 to 5.0. The 12.0 went to a rival.
Record: 0-3. 287.60 points for, sixth in the league, more than the 2-1 Tractor. Power rank 7, down one. The schedule owes this team an apology.
ChalupaBatman
FFBOYZ, 0-3, 66.76 points
C-
A 55.16 point loss, the largest of the week. The hardest news first: De'Von Achane is on injured reserve with a torn ACL, and that is not material for this paper. What is material: last week ChalupaBatman benched Jaylen Waddle and he scored 13.8. This week, on the Gazette's advice, Waddle started and scored 4.4, and Mike Evans scored 9.4 on the bench. The paper accepts partial custody. Drake Maye scored 3.8 and Justin Herbert scored 12.7 on the bench. Christian McCaffrey scored 17.6. The second best starter was Chase McLaughlin, the kicker tjflaig released, at 12.0. Good pickup. It was the best decision anyone made on this roster all week.
Best start: Christian McCaffrey, 17.6. Still the house's only working faucet.
Worst decision: Drake Maye over Justin Herbert, 3.8 to 12.7. The backup caucus claims another member.
Record: 0-3. 202.10 points for, last by 39.62. Power rank 10, unchanged. Lost Achane for the season, which makes the next ten weeks harder than this column can make them.
Superlatives / The Hardware
The Forfeit Win
Trogdor the Burninator, 66.44 points with the flex and defense slots empty, 29.8 points unclaimed behind them, and a 4.70 point win anyway. The Thunderdome has now crowned a winner who did not field a full team. The commissioner's office has been asked whether this is allowed. It is.
The Backup Caucus Goes Four for Four
Stafford 20.9 over Young's 13.6. Lawrence 19.8 over Goff's 19.4. Love 18.5 over Allen's 16.5. Herbert 12.7 over Maye's 3.8. Every team with a healthy backup quarterback started the one who scored less. The caucus put up 71.9 points on benches this week. It has now outscored the advice department every week of the season.
Score of the Week
The Snoqualmie Mint, 141.64, with two tight ends combining for 37.8 and a perfect lineup. Highest score since the Cobras' 157.72 in Week 1, and the first time this season the Gazette has had to apologize to a tight end strategy.
The Tight End Coin Flip Award
Ed's Broken Tractor. Three weeks, three tight end decisions, three wrong answers. Started: 6.7 points. Benched: 42.3 points. A coin would have been right about half the time. The Tractor is currently performing below a coin.
The 0.86 Point Lesson
Decepticons. A Sunday morning claim at tight end scored 0.9. The drafted tight end on the bench scored 3.1. The game was lost by 0.86. The Gazette notes that its own advice was not involved in this one, and for once wishes it had been, so that it could share the blame.
The Kicker Carousel
tjflaig: four kickers since Week 2 began. Chase McLaughlin was claimed and cut inside two days, then scored 12.0 for ChalupaBatman. Harrison Butker scored 5.0. The current kicker is Evan McPherson. The Gazette will check back next week to confirm that he is still the current kicker.
The Gazette Lineup Advice Audit
Start Henderson: 2.9. Start Waddle: 4.4, with Evans at 9.4 on the bench. Use Coker: 1.8, and Trogdor was right to ignore it. Zero for three this week, one for six this season. The advice department has been demoted below the backup caucus, which went four for four.
Bits: One Retired, One Revived
Retired: Kyle Pitts, released by the Decepticons on Wednesday after 0.5 points in his only week on the roster. Revived: Brenton Strange, retired by this paper last week and claimed by Punt Intended on Wednesday for Jakobi Meyers, who had just scored 12.4. The Gazette's obituary desk is under review.
Standings / After Week 3
Record, then points for. Top six make the playoffs.
| # | Team | Manager | W-L | PF |
|---|
| 1 | Cobras | jonnie555 | 3-0 | 391.00 |
| 2 | The Snoqualmie Mint | CalViv6 | 2-1 | 362.82 |
| 3 | Punt Intended | stevets | 2-1 | 347.34 |
| 4 | Daraiders | darock77 | 2-1 | 306.22 |
| 5 | NW HJ Monsters | rsh3ll | 2-1 | 294.84 |
| 6 | Ed's Broken Tractor | OldFordTractor | 2-1 | 274.50 |
| 7 | Decepticons | Megatron1414 | 1-2 | 249.32 |
| 8 | Trogdor the Burninator | jacobposey40 | 1-2 | 241.72 |
| 9 | tjflaig | tjflaig | 0-3 | 287.60 |
| 10 | ChalupaBatman | FFBOYZ | 0-3 | 202.10 |
Five teams are 2-1. The last one in is the Tractor, which has won two games by a combined 10.82. tjflaig has scored more than the Tractor and is 0-3.
Power Rankings / Week 3
Movement is against last week's rankings. Points for still outweighs the win column.
1Cobrasunchanged3-0, 391.00 points, and two straight perfect lineups. The warning: Hurts has scored 12.6 and 16.2 the last two weeks. The praise: nothing else on the roster has needed him to.
2The Snoqualmie Mintup 2Purdy, Smith-Njigba, and two healthy tight ends. The second best roster in the league and the second best lineup manager. The Week 11 bye is still coming.
3Punt IntendedunchangedHenry and London carried. The RB2 slot has now failed in all three weeks: Dowdle twice, Henderson once. Start whoever the Gazette does not recommend.
4Daraidersup 1First loss, by 4.70, with 16.14 on the bench. The roster keeps producing the second best lineup on it. Golden over Montgomery fixes most of it.
5NW HJ Monstersdown 361.74, the low score, against a seven-man lineup. Taylor and St. Brown combined for 15.1. One bad week, but it was very bad.
6Ed's Broken Tractorup 1Gibbs is the best player in the league this week and the tight end decision is the worst. Start Fannin. Or do not. The Gazette's record suggests you should do the opposite of whatever it says.
7tjflaigdown 10-3 with the sixth most points. The lineups are fine. The kickers rotate. The schedule has been the worst opponent on it.
8Decepticonsup 1Burrow and Love finally showed up together and the team lost by 0.86. Smith's hamstring is the next problem. The tight end room now holds Loveland and Sadiq.
9Trogdor the Burninatordown 1A win is a win. A win with two empty slots is a warning. Set a full lineup and this roster scores 108.30, which beats most of the league.
10ChalupaBatmanunchanged0-3, last in points, and now without Achane for the season. The reason to hope: McCaffrey is healthy and Herbert keeps outscoring Maye. Start Herbert. Then ignore the Gazette and start Maye.
Parting Shot
Three weeks in, the Thunderdome has produced a team that won with seven players, a team that lost while leaving the best tight end it owned on the bench for the third straight week and won anyway, and a backup quarterback caucus that has now outperformed the starters it sits behind in four out of four tries. The two teams that start their best players every week are first and second in the standings. Everyone else is somewhere between the Tractor's coin and Trogdor's empty slots.
The Gazette will reconvene when every team has set a full lineup. It is prepared to wait.